In lieu of Valentine's Day, I figured we'd talk about a topic fresh on all our minds. Carnations. Yes, those cheap little pink flowers that leave us anxious over basically absolutely nothing. Ok, yes, it might be a nice gesture to get your your girl some flowers, but let's be honest:
Guys: We know we get girls flowers on Valentine's Day because we are forced. We know that if we don't follow the tradition of buying our companions of the opposite sex flowers and/or chocolate (don't get me started on chocolate), we run the risk of getting the cold shoulder. None of us want the cold shoulder. For those of us that have been unfortunate enough to experience such a frigid (no pun intended) act, we can tell you we never want to go through it again. Most of us are not strong enough to stand up to the powers that be (Hallmark) and refuse to waste money on such a pointless day. Ladies, the excuse "It's a special day to show your love for us" holds no ground whatsoever. If we are with you, in a relationship, then we definitely show how special you are to us everyday. We listen, we cuddle, we console, we laugh, we get you cookies when you have a bad day; and now you want flowers?!?!?! Granted, like I've said before, its a nice gesture, but it shouldn't be expected just because. If we love/like you, then we love/like you everyday. End of story.
Now don't get a brotha wrong here. I'm not saying we shouldn't get girls flowers. It's a good move because it shows how much you care. Ain't nothin' wrong with that. I'm just sayin', like a certain dude from Illadelphia that lives above me, we shouldn't be afraid to say in such eloquent rhetoric, "Valentine's Day is dumb, dude."
"Speech is my hammer, bang the world into shape, now let it fall...
a.k.a. Brett Clarke